{"version":"https://jsonfeed.org/version/1","title":"Something Out of Nothing","icon":"/images/favicon.svg","home_page_url":"https://jakefowler.com/","feed_url":"https://jakefowler.com/feed.json","items":[{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/28/peter-max-peace-love-god-and-thought.html","title":"Peter Max: Peace, Love, God, and Thought","content_html":"

Maura and I had a wonderful twentieth anniversary day in town this year - we both have a lot going on so we decided to delay any travel until things calm down a bit. We played hooky yesterday, taking the streetcar to the River Market to wander around. Our primary destination was one of our favorite places in the city - https://rivermarketantiquemall.com. Sometimes we don’t find anything we can’t live without, but yesterday we both found several potential treasures to bring home. We both decided on something from the same cabinet. She fell in love with a couple of Russian ceramic pieces, both of them a man and a woman wearing brightly colored clothes and holding little dogs. They reminder her of pieces we’ve seen at the Museum of International Folk Art in Santa Fe. She had a hard time deciding on one couple so I told her to get both; she didn’t argue. I found four little books by one of my favorite artists, Peter Max and Swami Sivananda. Published in 1970 by William Morrow & Co., Inc. They are simply beautiful books with writing by Sivananda on one side and a complimentary Max illustration on the other. Here are the covers:
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\nI think the book called “Thought” is my favorite. Maura and I had a little happy hour in the River Market at Brown and Loe and while we were waiting on our drinks and appetizer (the Baked Pimento Cheese — OMG), we both read though a couple of the books and I found myself getting chills and tearing up a little. These books, written in 1970, feel so timely right now considering everything going on in the world and in my life. It felt like the Universe giving me a gift. Here are a couple passages and the accompanying image:

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\n

Thoughts are bricks with which character is built. Character is not born. It is formed. Man’s thoughts are the architects of his circumstances.

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Whatever you think is a boomerang. If you hate another, hate will come back to you. If you love others, love will come back to you. Therefore, understand the laws of thought. Raise only thought of mercy, love and kindness from your mind and be happy always.

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I’ve been a fan of Peter Max’s psychedelic art for years. I fell in love with him when I first laid eyes on some posters my dad had hanging in his office at the music store he owned, the Music Box, in NKC, MO. I would spend hours contemplating his artwork. I definitely had favorites. The posters were from a poster book he produced in 1970 both in a softbound version and a limited edition, signed hardbound edition. My dad had removed many of them and hung them in the main office of the store, among other more crass, Xerox copied, cartoons that initially confused me (were they meant to be funny?) When I went away to college, after the store had shuttered, he gave me the posters, remembering how much I liked looking at them. I, of course, plastered my dorm room with them. I think I still have some of them, but they aren’t in very good shape at this point. I would love to find a copy of the poster book in good shape! I’m not sure what spoke to me in the illustrations initially, I loved the colors, the patterns, and the otherworldliness of them. My favorite, by far, was Cosmic Window:
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\nThe piece draws you in immediately; I love the sense of looking into another world, of escape, of a mystical world, ripe for exploration.

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I didn’t even know these little meditative books existed, and yet, on the day we decided to skip out on our responsibilities and spend some quality time together, there they were, just waiting to be discovered. I’ve spent the last several months reinventing myself, exploring who I think I am versus who I want to be and working on the discrepancies. I’ve been realigning the course of my life. Some days it takes more effort than others; it feels like a giant ocean tanker with a wide steering radius. Other days feel easy and perfectly aligned with the Universe like the day Maura and I had together, several wonderful things happened that just continued to make our day. A woman at Brown and Loe came inside from the patio and just had to stop to tell us that she LOVED our style in a very genuine, humorous, self effacing way. It was nice to hear and kind of adorable. After we finished our dinner, the waitress brought us a small gift — a bottle of wine to take home with words and hearts written all over it to celebrate our anniversary. One more quote from Sivananda and occupying Max image, from the book “Love”:

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There is no virtue higher than love; there is no treasure higher than love; there is no knowledge higher than love; there is no religion higher than love; there is no truth higher than love. My dear child of love, tread the path of love. This is your highest duty. You have taken this body to achieve love, which alone is the goal of life.

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I know these aren’t new ideas, but we could really use them right now. There’s something meaningful about finding these books and holding them right now. T They are beautiful reminders from an artist who shaped how I see the world — words written fifty years ago that feel written specifically for right now. Maybe that’s what the Universe does when you’re paying attention.

\n","date_published":"2026-05-28T08:30:20-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/28/peter-max-peace-love-god-and-thought.html","tags":["Art","Love","Thought","God","Peace","Philosophy","Life","Joy","Maura"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/18/universal-quantum-consciousness.html","title":"Universal Quantum Consciousness","content_html":"\"The\n

What if consciousness didn’t originate with human awareness? What if it was always out there, in the Universe, and our evolution allowed us to receive it, to connect with it? Consciousness happens at the nexus of human awareness and the Universe.

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I don’t know that this is true, but I find it to be a fascinating and beautiful idea and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

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Recently, I had a quick chat with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. After catching up on life, we started talking about this topic, which just happened to coincide with some of my recent thoughts. We’ve talked about deep ideas before, we both enjoy exploring ideas that might be considered a bit “out there” He knew I was open to it and love to talk about things like this but him bringing it up, when I had been doing my own exploration into these ideas felt meaningful and somehow fated to be — the Universe pushing us to explore further. The idea that our consciousness, our ideas and thoughts about ourselves are both bigger AND smaller than us is interesting to contemplate. I was a Philosophy major, and for good reason — I love to explore interesting ideas like this. The theory is that consciousness comes from outside from an external quantum field and our brains have evolved in such a way that we can recognize it and interact with it. We assume that it’s our own, that it comes from within our own minds. In reality, it’s both, existence comes from the external field and our brain’s interaction with it, and our interpretation of it.

\n

I’ve always been a deep thinker (some might say over thinker). I like following the threads of topics that interest me and this one has come up in several different contexts lately, most recently when catching up with a good friend. I haven’t had the capacity to do this kind of mental exploration for a while; I was too busy managing systems and people (which I also enjoy) and solving more immediate problems. I enjoy having the luxury of sitting with ideas and questions that don’t necessarily have answers, that fascinate me for exactly that reason, they are unanswerable. I appreciate having the time and mental energy to sit with deeper, unsettled, sometimes unsettling questions again.

\n

I do believe there’s an efficiency and elegance to our evolution, all of life’s evolution. As weird and messy as it can be in the short term, over the eons it somehow finds the best, most efficient way to exist in the world. Our brains are powerful information processors — a four pound lump of meat, astonishingly energy efficient, better than any computer we’ve built. Maybe that efficiency isn’t just clever biology. Maybe we’re not generating consciousness so much as tuning into it.

\n

After the conversation yesterday, I brought up the topic with AI to help me process my thoughts on it a little further and it came up with a great quote towards the end of the conversation:

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“We are talking about the nature of thought because, in a very real way, the universe is using both of us right now to try and understand itself.”

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I don’t know if that’s true — it’s a grand anthropomorphism — but it’s a beautiful idea, and and the conversation with my friend felt like evidence of it. I’ve missed having the time and energy for this kind of thinking, exploration, and discovery. I’m learning to trust the Universe again, and to allow things to unfold as they will.

\n","date_published":"2026-05-18T12:23:57-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/18/universal-quantum-consciousness.html","tags":["Quantum Theory","Universe","Thought","Philosophy","Conversation","Friends"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/14/belonging.html","title":"Belonging","content_html":"

I went to the End of Semester Shows at KCAI last Friday, where the students have the opportunity to show what they’ve been working on all year and sell their art if they choose. It’s a fun event and, in my opinion, the culmination of everything that I did at KCAI — it’s one of the main reasons I worked there to facilitate the students’ creative endeavors. It’s also a great opportunity to not only support the students, but to score some affordable art from up and coming artists. We have a lot of KCAI alumni work in our house. In fact, every year for the past nineteen years, I’ve purchased my wife, Maura a piece of student artwork that reflects the anniversary gift for that year — our anniversary is at the end of May. It’s hard to believe that it’ll be twenty years in a couple of weeks!

\n

I got to campus a little early and the buildings weren’t open yet. I instinctively reached for my ID to swipe so I could enter one of the buildings and realized that I no longer had access. I knew going to campus for the first time since my last day, now almost four months ago, would be tough. It was nice to see all the work and the students, staff, and faculty that night, but it was even harder than I expected. I was walking around realizing that I didn’t belong there anymore; I was no longer a part of the community. It took a lot of effort to keep going and not just walk back to my car to drive home. I’m glad I went, the shows were great and I faced the challenge and the next time I went back wouldn’t be as bad.

\n

Last night there was a celebration/retirement party for Cary Esser, Ceramics faculty member for thirty years, alumnus, and chair of the department for many years. There were many faculty, staff, and former faulty and staff there to celebrate her — it was so great to see everyone. So many hugs, handshakes, wonderful comments, and promises to grab lunch/drinks soon. As I was chatting with folks, I realized that I do still belong. It’s not the place, it’s the community and I am still very much a part of it. Not in the same way, I don’t see most of those people as often as I used to, but I am still part of the wonderful Kansas City arts community. I drove home from KCAI tonight feeling lighter, even happier than I have been the last couple of months. I came home with something better than art — a renewed sense of belonging.

\n","date_published":"2026-05-14T17:47:57-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/14/belonging.html","tags":["Progress","Art","Community","Belonging"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/06/david-byrne-may-2026.html","title":"David Byrne, May 2026","content_html":"\"\"\n\"\"\n

Maura and I went to see David Byrne last night at Starlight Theater for the fourth time — it was an amazing show, again. I’ve loved him since his Talking Heads days — ‘77 was my first album — I followed him when he started his solo career — I’ve loved his collaborations with other talented artists and musicians. He makes the mundane profound. My heart soared last night as we listened to each song — I was singing along and cheering the whole time. Because I am on a sort of sabbatical, I didn’t have the stress of the day to wash away, I was able to take in the music, the visuals, the crowd so much better. Live music is very much an escape from reality, a mini vacation, but it was less that for me yesterday, it was a different experience — I was much more present. I tend to get emotional at shows, but last night I was tearing up from the sheer joy of seeing David and his band celebrating life through music — they put themselves out there for the world to see. That kind of joy is contagious.

\n","date_published":"2026-05-06T17:08:21-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/06/david-byrne-may-2026.html","tags":["Music","Joy","Art","David Byrne"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/06/the-silver-death-cult.html","title":"The Silver Death Cult","content_html":"

In high school I hung out with the geeks — misfits who were smart enough to be nerds, but most of us lacked the motivation. The one exception, a friend in physics class, was coding a fractal program on the one classroom computer while the rest of us suffered through the bad magic tricks and ukulele playing of a teacher desperate to keep our attention. He, myself, and another outcast friend were simply weird. We had similar senses of humor, quoting Monty Python and coming up with our own characters that would have been right at home on the show, often to very confused more mainstream classmates. We were all in band together where we were tolerated for our musical talents — I played tuba and sousaphone. I remember scratching off selected letters from a book we were reading in an English class “Giants in the Earth” by Ole Edvart Rølvaag to leave behind the revised title “ants in the Ear.” That one caught on with the whole class, much to the disappointment and frustration of the teacher.

\n

We were smart, bored, and didn’t really fit in anywhere. I don’t even remember how the “cult” got started, but we decided to create something for ourselves, a group where we did belong. We called it the Silver Death Cult, probably because it sounded both mysterious and slightly frightening. There were two rules for entry into the organization:

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We three were the only members as our efforts to recruit were met with confusion and revulsion. Looking back now, maybe that was the point of the requirements — we created something for us and only us — to keep the world out and a place where we belonged. If you remember us, you probably remember us wrong. We were stranger than you knew, and prouder of it than we let on.

\n

Before anyone asks, I do still have that button, so many years later. Maybe I should start wearing it again. I think I’ll skip the thistle standing now though.

\n\"\"\n

I wrote a poem to commemorate this story

\n","date_published":"2026-05-06T15:40:03-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/05/06/the-silver-death-cult.html","tags":["High School","Geeks","Nerds","Band","Survival","Weird"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/28/rebuilding-with-lego.html","title":"Rebuilding with Lego","content_html":"

I love building with Lego. I have for most of my life. But I have a somewhat complicated relationship with Lego.

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Growing up, my favorite set was the Lego Expert Builder Power Truck (set 8848 — thank you internet!) with a working steering wheel and truck bed which you could lift with a lever inside the cab. I would build it over and over, carefully following the instructions. I would also frequently take it apart to make things from my imagination. I remember well the flying ships with jets and lasers — sadly, I have no photos of these.

\n\"Lego\n

The strongest memory I have, sadly, is the time my dad came into my room, raging about something my brother and I did — I don’t remember what, just kids being kids — and threw me and the Legos I was playing with across the room, they scattered all over the room and the well designed box with compartments for each type of part was destroyed. I was shocked and hurt — both physically and emotionally. I was heartbroken and horrified for what had happened to my latest creation and for the box.

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Jump forward a few years to just after my first marriage ended. I went a little crazy with the Lego Bionicles sets that had just been released. I probably should have been focusing on putting my life back together, but maybe that’s exactly what I was doing. I had lost myself in that marriage — I became someone who I didn’t recognize and wasn’t happy with. I gave up too much of myself. Building those ridiculous robots gave me something I could control, something I could build with my hands that worked exactly the way they were supposed to. Piece by piece. I was rebuilding something. It wasn’t just the Legos.

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These days, I love building all sorts of sets and I love to display the sets I’ve collected and built. Maura and I also like to go to the used brick stores in town to buy bulk bricks — I like to build abstract sculptures and strange looking iPhone stands with them. I love the place it takes me, both when I’m following the step by step instructions, and when I’m free building the sculptures. Sometimes I get a little impatient when building by instructions, I’m anxious to get to the next step and anxious to see the finished product. When I’m free building I go into that other place, tapping into my creativity like the kid who built those weird little spaceships. It’s a fun place to escape to for a while.

\n\"Abstract\n

Lego has become something new — not just an escape, but a way to connect. Maura and I build together, sometimes following instructions, sometimes just seeing what emerges from a pile of bricks. We’ve even had building sessions with friends. There’s something that happens when adults sit down and play with Lego — the potential awkwardness of adults playing with childish things together falls away and you meet each other at a different level. Childlike, unhurried, creative. It turns out that’s a pretty good place to connect from.

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Lego has been there for me at some major turning points in my life. After my dad’s rage. After my first marriage ended. During the harder stretches of a long career. There’s something about the act of making something — anything — that reminds me that things can be put back together. And the shared joy of building, connecting — literally — over building blocks, is a wonderful place to be.

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You don’t always need the instructions. You just need the bricks.

\n","date_published":"2026-04-28T08:05:00-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/28/rebuilding-with-lego.html","tags":["Lego","Building","Childhood","Growing Up","Toys"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/24/movin-right-along.html","title":"Movin' Right Along","content_html":"\"Animal\n

My wife Maura and I recently went to visit a good friend in a nearby town, about 45 minutes away. As we drove out of our neighborhood, she commented on a house that’s being built. She said, “Moving right along”, which triggered a song in my head “Moving Right Along” by Kermit and Fozzy of The Muppets. Since we were on the road, I thought it would be a great time to listen to the original Muppet Move Soundtrack. It’s such a great, upbeat and positive soundtrack and I love every bit of it.

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I know this will date me, but I remember watching that movie in the theater when I was a kid and just feeling so inspired and empowered, especially when the giant Animal emergesfrom the building in the background to save the day. As silly as the Muppet Movie was, it had a pure spirit, a powerful message about following your dreams and the perpetual fight against those that want to keep us down. I remember walking out of the theater feeling 100 feet tall (like Animal was!) Even now when I hear the music or watch the movie it brings me right back to those feelings.

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Those feelings were reawakened in high school when one of my English teachers introduced me to Joseph Campbell. I internalized his idea of “follow your bliss” — essentially, if you do what makes you truly happy, things will work out. I don’t know how much I believe in fate or destiny, but sometimes the Universe sends unmistakable messages. Two Bit Consulting is growing at a good pace. Good things are in motion. I feel more centered and excited for the future than I have in a long time. Hearing Maura say those words, having it trigger that song and the feelings and memories that came with it felt like the Universe confirming the momentum. I’m moving right along.

\n","date_published":"2026-04-24T11:10:00-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/24/movin-right-along.html","tags":["Music","Universe","Reflections","Life","Muppets","Joseph Campbell","Bliss","Career"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/17/building-something-out-of-nothing.html","title":"Building Something Out of Nothing","content_html":"

Three months ago today I walked away from a job I’d held for twenty years. I knew it was coming but nothing really prepares you for the moment when you hand over your keys and drive away.

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I’ve been thinking about identity a lot in the last three months. What nobody tells you about losing a job you loved is how much of yourself goes with it. Not just the work, the identity. The morning routine. The sense of being needed. I spent the first few weeks genuinely wondering who I was without a title attached to my name and the work. I wrote in my journal: “I feel purposeless without a job, undefined.” I meant it. I had one particularly bad day in early February where I just gave in to all of it — the anger, the sadness, the feeling of worthlessness. I walked around the house all day being miserable on purpose. It sounds counterintuitive but it worked. I woke up the next morning in the best mood I’d had in years.

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What I’ve learned in the last three months is that the identity I lost wasn’t really mine. It was given to me, shaped by an institution, tied to an organization, a budget, and an org chart I didn’t choose. After the shock of the change started to wear off I began building a new identity for myself. The one I’m building now is chosen. Every piece of it.

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I’ve been working to launch a consulting business: building the website, creating branding, getting organized. I launched Two Bit Consulting a couple of weeks ago, and this morning I received the Articles of Organization from the state of Missouri. It just became real in a new way. My client list is growing quickly. I’ve been writing more, building things, exploring technology in ways I haven’t had time or energy for in years. I called a former colleague this week and told them that life on the other side is pretty dang nice. I meant that too.

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I’m not going to pretend the last three months have been easy. Some days were genuinely hard. But I can say without hesitation that I’m happier, less stressed, and more myself than I’ve been in a very long time.
\nThe explorer, the builder, the connector - it turns out they were still here the whole time. They just needed a little room and energy.

\n","date_published":"2026-04-17T14:04:00-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/17/building-something-out-of-nothing.html","tags":["Identity","Technology","Building","Happyness"]},{"id":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/05/website-update.html","title":"Website Update","content_html":"

Disclaimer: This is a very geeky post, if you are geek-sensitive, please feel free to skip this one.

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It feels really good to be back in control of my website. I missed hunkering down with the code and losing time while figuring things out. I’ve had that on and off over the last several years, but nothing gets me there like web development. I lose myself and my sense of time; it makes me wish we had more than twenty-four hours in a day.

\n

After finishing the Two Bit Consulting website, I was feeling a little listless and in need of another project. I had moved my domain and hosting to Micro.blog a while ago, which is a GREAT platform and there are parts of it that I’ll miss, my posts and content migrated with me, so nothing was lost, but I really wanted to get back to a self-managed, self-hosted situation. Working with Anthropic’s Claude for support and assistance, I installed Hugo, a static site generator written in Go, on my computer and hooked it up to a new git repository on GitHub. A simple git push publishes the updated files to GitHub, which then automatically deploys to my Dreamhost-hosted site. I realized I could go a step further with Apple Shortcuts and created an automation to monitor the local folder for changes, which would then trigger the terminal commands to push to GitHub. It’s not quite as user friendly as a managed host like Micro.blog, but it works very well and it feels a lot more genuine to me, kind of like driving a stick shift after years of automatic transmissions. I’m much more in control and own the whole process, plus it saves me some annual costs! Also, with the automation, I can post from my mobile devices, since the local directory is hosted in my iCloud Documents folder and syncs to all my devices. As soon as my computer sees the changed files, it will push them to GitHub!

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I’ve also worked with Claude to develop a web interface to allow me to edit the various parts of my site with a nicer GUI. Which I’m using to type this little update! It works really well!

\n

You can see the result right here — you’re already reading it. Welcome to the new jakefowler.com!

\n","date_published":"2026-04-05T19:11:00-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/05/website-update.html","tags":["blogging","website","technology"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/04/01/happy-th-birthday-apple.html","title":"Happy 50th Birthday Apple","content_html":"\"Auto-generated\n

Apple was founded 50 years ago today which has me thinking about my relationship with technology and specifically Apple. My first personal computer was a Macintosh IIfx with 80MB of storage. I remember wondering what I was going to do with ALL THAT SPACE! There’s no way I would ever use it all. I also remember surfing the Internet (via AOL, IRC, Usenet, etc.) with a book to read while things loaded. How far we have come! That IIfx sparked a curiosity and passion in me that I had only experienced a few times before. I had used a Mac Classic in high school and college and was fascinated by what they could do, what they meant for me and for society even then. I had also used old PCs before that, but the Mac was approachable and friendly; it was nowhere near as intimidating to use and explore. I have always loved to push the limits of what technology can do and explore every nook and cranny of each device and piece of software I encounter. Apple made it fun to create and connect with others; I met some pretty great people in IRC channels back in the day some of whom I’m still in touch with! Computers made it much easier to find your tribe, especially for the shy introvert that I was back then.

\n

That’s part of the inspiration for the name of my website, Something Out of Nothing. I love the idea that you can sit down at a blank screen and just start creating, whether it’s a journal entry, a book, a website for your new business, a piece of music, or a whole album. Computers offer so much potential to impact humanity in so many positive ways and Apple capitalized on that in the best possible way. I still love to explore technology and its capabilities and I love to be able to share that experience with others in ways that they can understand. This is a huge part of why I do what I do; both the love of technological exploration and the pull to help others use it to improve their lives, workflows, creativity, and connections to the world. Apple’s introduction of the Macintosh and all the life changing, society changing products and services released since helped me to discover who I was: the explorer, the builder, the connector. Years later, I’m still all three. Happy birthday Apple and thank you for the inspiration.

\n","date_published":"2026-04-01T16:53:58-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/04/01/happy-th-birthday-apple.html","tags":["life","vintage","Birthday","epiphany","Anniversary","Human","Technology","Consulting ","web design"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/03/31/starting-something-new-two-bit.html","title":"Starting Something New: Two Bit Consulting","content_html":"\"\"\n

Today I launched a website. Wait, that sentence feels smaller than it should, let me try again.

\n

A couple of months ago, after twenty years of working in technology at KCAI, most recently eight years as Director of Campus Technology, I found myself without a full-time job for the first time in a long time. While I’ve been helping folks with IT stuff outside of KCAI for many years, it hasn’t been an official business with its own identity. After taking a couple of weeks to come to terms with what happened, I decided I needed a project to sink my teeth into; that’s how Two Bit Consulting came to exist.

\n

What nobody tells you about losing a job you loved is how much of yourself goes with it. Not just the work, but the identity. The morning routine. The sense of being needed, of having a place where your particular set of skills and experience actually matters. I didn’t realize how much of who I was had been wrapped up in what I did until it was gone. Getting that back, or building a new version of it, has been the real work of the last several weeks.

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What I missed most was the actual work. Digging into a problem. Figuring out why something wasn’t working and making it right. Helping someone understand their technology instead of just fighting it. That feeling when a project comes together and the person on the other end of it is genuinely better off than they were before. I missed that more than I expected to.

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Two Bit Consulting is, in part, my answer to that. It’s real work, IT support, fractional IT leadership, web design that Maura and I have been doing in pieces for years. Making it official felt like taking back some ownership over who I am and what I do, independent of whoever is signing my paycheck.

\n

I want to be clear about what this is and isn’t. It’s not a pivot. I’m still actively looking for the right full-time opportunity in technology leadership. The job search is ongoing. Some days it’s harder than others. But having something concrete to build and point to has made the in-between feel less like waiting and more like working.

\n

If you know of a technology leadership role that might be a good fit, I’m genuinely grateful for the introduction. And if you or someone you know needs their technology to actually work, or a website that looks like it was made on purpose, that’s what Two Bit is here for.

\n

twobit-consulting.com - I had fun building it. Poke around, there are a few easter eggs to be found. One hint: Konami code.

\n","date_published":"2026-03-31T15:44:09-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/03/31/starting-something-new-two-bit.html","tags":["Maura","life","change","hope","Happyness","epiphany","busyness","Technology","Consulting ","web design"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/03/20/what-was-missing.html","title":"What Was Missing","content_html":"

It’s been a couple of months since leaving my last job. I’d been keeping busy - learning things I hadn’t had time for, helping a few people out with tech issues - and I knew my routines had changed. What I hadn’t consciously registered was what was actually missing.

\n

Yesterday I looked up from what I was working on and realized several hours had passed without me noticing.

\n

That’s when it hit me.

\n

I miss problem solving. I miss helping people figure out their technology. I miss losing time to something that makes a difference. I miss having an issue gnaw at my brain for days and then - seemingly out of nowhere - the solution arriving almost fully formed, like it had been working on itself the whole time.

\n

I needed the break; I don’t regret it. But that moment yesterday reminded me who I am and what I’m built for - and while I’m still looking for the right full-time role, I’m not waiting around to scratch that itch.

\n

More soon.

\n","date_published":"2026-03-20T09:17:45-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/03/20/what-was-missing.html","tags":["life","brain","change","Happyness","epiphany","Work","Thinking"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/03/06/what-eliza-started-humancomputer-communication.html","title":"What Eliza Started: Human/Computer Communication","content_html":"\"AIEliza\">\n

Since I have more free time than I’ve had in many years to explore my interests in more depth I’ve been looking at and experimenting with Artificial Intelligence. It’s here now and it’s not going anywhere. I’ve always enjoyed being on the forefront of technology, but this feels different. I remember playing with Eliza, the natural language processing computer program developed in the ‘60’s to explore what communication between humans and machines could look like. It was very basic and mostly just repeated your comments back as a question, psychotherapy style. It was pretty uncanny at first but it was very limited and we got bored with it pretty quickly but it sparked an interest, as I know it did for many people, on what the future of human/computer interaction would look like.

\n

In my recent explorations with AI (I’ve used several different platforms for different tasks) I’ve had some somewhat uncanny conversations with the chatbots. I’ve asked them for feedback on my resume with some good results. I gave one full access to all of my notes (my digital brain - a journal, articles that inspire me, job search notes, recipes, etc.) and asked it to give me a summary of what kind of person it thinks I am and what values are reflected in my notes. It’s a little surreal to have a conversation with an AI bot about yourself but I feel like it has helped give me some insight into some things that I hadn’t thought about in that way before. For example, I feel like I have a good handle on my core values, but the recent conversation brought up some other things that I know were important to me, I just hadn’t elevated them to the level of a core value.

\n

I think about this kind of stuff a lot; I’ve been reading about metacognition lately (defined by Wikipedia as “an awareness of one’s thought processes and an understanding of the patterns behind them.” That sounds right to me. I think a lot and I think about thinking a lot. Yes, it’s a rabbit hole. Hey, there was a reason I dove headfirst into Philosophy in college and ended up majoring in it. I like knowing what makes people tick but I really like knowing what makes me tick. I’ve always believed the moment we stop pushing ourselves to learn about the world and about ourselves, we may as well just quit. I’m always trying to find new ways to evolve and explore how I experience the world. The recent conversation I had with the chatbot about my notes was enlightening, frightening, and perhaps a little self absorbed but it gave me some interesting things to think about and explore further.

\n

I feel like I should say something about my stance on AI. I think it can be a powerful tool when used correctly. It can also be very dangerous and make us lazy when relied on too heavily. I don’t think it should be used to replace human thought, but to supplement it. I’ve used it a lot in the past to get me started with writing a policy for work or a technical email, but I always rewrite it in my own voice. I like to use AI as a collaborative tool; not in place of my work or other people’s input and thoughts, but in addition to them. It’s also very good at some of the more tedious tasks like proofreading.

\n

Back when I was experimenting with Eliza, I quickly realized that she couldn’t really know me. She simply reflected my own words back to me and made me interpret any meaning. What’s so eerie and striking about AI these days is that it can actually synthesize, find patterns, make connections and sometimes see things about you that you’ve been too close to notice. That’s powerful, and yes, a little unsettling. But I think that’s the point. The best tools don’t just make things easier; they make you think harder. Used that way, AI isn’t replacing human thought, it’s provoking it. And for someone who thinks about thinking for fun (and profit?), that feels like exactly the right kind of rabbit hole.

\n","date_published":"2026-03-06T14:53:07-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/03/06/what-eliza-started-humancomputer-communication.html","tags":["brain","change","Philosophy","Human","Artificial Intelligence","Thinking","Metacognition ","Thinking about thinking"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/02/16/the-scarcity-of-words.html","title":"The Scarcity of Words","content_html":"\"Digital\n

When I was a kid, I used to have the strange belief that we had a limited number of words we could speak in our lifetime; once we ran out, no more talking, no matter how much longer we lived. I know, this sounds like something a parent would say to an overly inquisitive or talkative toddler, but I’ve been told that they never said anything like that to me. I was a weird kid.

\n

I’ve been thinking lately about the last time I was unemployed and searching for my next thing. I had recently had thyroid surgery and the doctor told me that there was a chance they could nick my vocal cords and cause permanent damage. After I went home to recover from the surgery, I wound up getting the hiccups. We called the doctor and he prescribed a surprising remedy; apparently, Thorazine (the anti-psychotic) cures the hiccups instantly. I stopped hiccuping and I was one with the universe for a while. I understood everything; it all made so much sense! I even took notes; they are complete, untranslatable gibberish but I’m sure there is deep meaning in them somewhere.

\n

In the meantime, I did end up losing my voice; I sounded like I had been smoking for a thousand years. The best I could do was a hoarse whisper, which took a lot of effort and wore me out quickly. I had a hard time getting past the phone interview and even those didn’t last long. I felt the need to explain why I sounded like that. I was in my mid-twenties and I sounded like I was well past retirement age.

\n

I finally got my voice back while plummeting 189 feet on an amusement park bungee jump ride. I yelled “Oh F%&K!” as I was falling and my voice suddenly popped back. To this day, if I’ve been talking a lot or have been in a lot of meetings, my voice wears out and the muscles in my throat feel like they’ve had a workout at a gym.

\n

I was somewhat prescient about the finite nature of words as a kid; I just had the time-frame wrong. It’s not a lifetime limit - it’s a daily one. By the end of a long day of meetings, words have a higher cost for me. Maybe that’s not a bad thing; scarcity has a way of making you focus on what and who is really important.

\n","date_published":"2026-02-16T09:02:24-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/02/16/the-scarcity-of-words.html","tags":["health","Medical","brain","change","hope","stress","Distortion","Childhood","Trauma","Philosophy"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/02/04/happy-birthday-to-my-moustache.html","title":"Happy birthday to my moustache!","content_html":"\"\"\n

Fifteen years ago today was the fist time I used wax to create my handlebar moustache. Happy birthday to my faithful companion, my face wouldn’t be the same without you!

\n","date_published":"2026-02-04T10:34:40-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/02/04/happy-birthday-to-my-moustache.html","tags":["Birthday","Happyness","beauty"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/02/03/processing-emotions.html","title":"Processing Emotions ","content_html":"\"Auto-generated\n

Early last week I made a decision as soon as I woke up that I would spend the day embracing all the negative emotions around my current job situation, like giving in to the Dark Side. I spent the day pissed off and miserable. I made those around me miserable; that was mainly my wife - I was getting on her nerves by mid-day. My somewhat conscious logic was to deal with the emotions all at once, get it out of my system and begin the process of moving on. They had been a lingering undercurrent for the past several weeks and I was tired of feeling them. I walked around the house all day saying F this, F them, F that, I even cussed out my dogs if they looked at me funny, which they often do. I felt sad, angry, like a failure, like I had no future, I embraced it all; I was getting angry about being angry.

\n

The next day, I woke up in the best mood. I was super motivated to start the online classes I had signed up for, I started thinking about other career paths that I could create for myself. I sent several emails to my network and chatted with a few people about potential opportunities. It worked! The funny thing is, I’ve felt so much better since that Dark Side day. I’m les stressed, happier than I’ve been in ages, and full of hope for the future. I had become so used to carrying that stress and those negative emotions without dealing with it that it had become almost toxic. The ironic thing is, I posted a new profile picture on my socials and I had a big old smile on my face. I took that photo on the angry day - I must have unconsciously known that I was on the right path. I wasn’t feeling it but after that self-induced miserable day, that picture is a much better representation of me. I AM happier than I’ve been in a long time, I’m able to spend more time doing the things I enjoy and my concentration has improved greatly.

\n","date_published":"2026-02-03T10:47:16-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/02/03/processing-emotions.html","tags":["health","life","Personal","change","hope","stress","Happyness","Emotion","Human"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2026/01/16/today.html","title":"Today","content_html":"\"Today\nYears ago, when we were kids, my brother and I bought my mom a plaque for Mother’s Day that read “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” We thought it was incredibly clever and meaningful but we really had no idea what it meant at the time; we were kids! That phrase stuck in my head and of course as I got older, I realized that it was meant to be a kind of call to action, a reminder to carpe the heck of of the diem. It’s also pretty cheesy and so appropriate for the time when we bought it (the 70’s). \n

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I no longer work where I’ve been for the last twenty years. That phrase is very present in my head right now and It feels especially true. I’m excited about the world of possibilities, a little nervous about all the unknowns, ready to have a little time off to disconnect. I’m looking forward to having some time for professional and creative renewal; time to explore interests and hobbies that I haven’t had the time or energy for. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to redefine myself, to figure out who I am without a work identity and who I even want to be. It’s exhilarating and frightening.

\n

I’m also wondering how long it will take for me to let go of all the projects I had been managing or changes I’d been considering, both large and small. I had short and long term plans and they have all been living in my head. Not to mention the constant cybersecurity concerns and day to day issues and worries. It’s a little trickier for me too, because I still have a lot of connections to my former employer, family and friends that still work there. I suspect that It’s going to be hard to purge some of that from my brain, but I know I’ll get there. It was a lot of weight to carry and I’m ready for some time to rest. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

\n","date_published":"2026-01-16T09:42:16-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2026/01/16/today.html","tags":["life","Personal","change","hope","stress","what a year","Happyness","Childhood","epiphany"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/12/10/you-are-not-the-weight.html","title":"You are not the weight you carry","content_html":"

You are not the weight you carry

\nClip the strings and float away

\nLive inside a sanctuary

\nLose yourself to find your way

\n

This is from the Tune Yards’ latest album, Better Dreaming from a song called Sanctuary. I’ve been listening to the album a lot, it’s so good! But this song hits me hard in the feels, especially right now. It’s exactly what I need to hear right now.

\n

We saw them live in St. Louis several weeks ago at a small venue, Off Broadway - it was a fantastic show, so cool to see them and be so close to the stage! Music has always been important to me, but it feels especially healing right now.

\n\n","date_published":"2025-12-10T18:06:06-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/12/10/you-are-not-the-weight.html","tags":["music","beauty","epiphany"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/12/05/its-been-a-rough-year.html","content_html":"

It’s been a rough year for a lot of reasons, politics, work stress, politics. I found out recently that after twenty years of loyal dedication to my place of work, due to organizational shifts, my position was being eliminated. I had the opportunity to apply for a the new Associate VP of Technology position, responsible for everything I have been doing for the last eight years, plus managing the Creative Technology side of things. I applied, interviewed and an external candidate was chosen. I am now looking for a new job, though I hope to take a little time off to see if I can even remember how to chill. While a big part of my identity was tied up with my job, as is the case for many Americans, I’m trying to make the mental adjustments to remember who I am outside of work. You can be passionate about your career without it taking over your personality, at least I hope to reach that point.

\n

I know I’ll find something else, probably with a much better salary (you’re not in private, non-profit education to get rich!) but it’s a huge adjustment for me. I’m trying to be patient with myself and feel all the feels; there’s definitely a grieving process with job loss. One thing I have learned: I have a great network of friends, family, and colleagues who genuinely care about my well-being. I couldn’t do this without their support and the support of my incredible wife. Also, my dogs have not left my side. I’m so lucky to have all of you in my life.

\n

If you have some time in the next few weeks to meet for beverages, a phone call, or facetime, I’d love to catch up! I’ll have plenty of time while I figure out what’s next for me. Oh, and if you hear about any IT leadership roles, let me know! I’m exploring a few opportunities, but I’m open to anything right now.

\n","date_published":"2025-12-05T19:11:08-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/12/05/its-been-a-rough-year.html"},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/06/23/call-me-sentimental-a-hopeless.html","content_html":"

Call me sentimental, a hopeless romantic, sappy, whatever you want to call it. I feel in love with the movie Somewhere in time the first time I saw it. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it, but I pretty much have it memorized. I’ve always wanted to visit the Grand Hotel at Mackinac Island, which plays a significant role in the movie. That wish came true yesterday, kind of.

\n

My mom, who lives outside of Detroit, is turning eighty in September, but we won’t be able to make the trip to see her then so we decided to drive up this Summer. We picked her up and drove to the UP to a nice little AirBnB in St. Ignace.

\n

We plan to explore several places, but first on the list was Mackinac Island. It was a full day of fudge, horse drawn carriages, an old fort, and beautiful views of Lake Huron. We didn’t end up making it into the hotel, but we rode past it on a horse drawn tour of the island. Did you know that the original stucture was built in 93 days? It’s a HUGE hotel, and they built an addition in the 1980’s that basically doubled its size. It’s a truly grand hotel, over looking the Lake:

\n\"The\n\"The\n

Of course we came back to the cottage and watched Somewhere in Time, which they just happened to have on DVD. Post Superman Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour challenge the constraints of time to fall deeply but oh so briefly in love. In my opinion, the kiss is the most beautiful of all movies ever, so pure and poignant. And then there’s the paradox of the pocket watch and that dreadful penny.

\n

Until today, I didn’t realize that I’m not the only one, there’s a whole cult following and a fan club. I might have to join!

\n\"Somewhere\n","date_published":"2025-06-23T06:50:56-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/06/23/call-me-sentimental-a-hopeless.html","tags":["America","music","time","vintage","Happyness","Travel","Movies","Philosophy","Romance","Time Travel"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/06/14/freight-train-rabbit-killer-at.html","title":"Freight Train Rabbit Killer at Gigantic Records","content_html":"

One of my favorite local bands, Freight Train Rabbit Killer, performed last night at the grand opening of Gigantic Records. They were also celebrating the release of their new album The Ten Year.

\n

FTRK are really hard to describe, but they rock - Doom Blues, American Roots Opera, whatever you want to call it, it’s genuinely unique. Kris Bruders (Freight Train) and Mark Smeltzer (Rabbit Killer) play the crap out of their guitars and Mark’s custom built instruments. They have a dark aesthetic to go along with the music and an ever evolving mythology. They have worked many times over the years with KCAI’s Illustration students to create truly creative, interactive performances. It’s a sight to behold and a sound to melt your brain!

\n

The grand opening last night was fun, but it was also kind of sad. My friends Ann and Marion decided at the end of last year to close their shop (Records with Merrit) and retire. They were hoping to sell the record store to someone they knew (I was tempted!) and they finally handed over the reigns to another friend of theirs who will do a great job, I’m sure. It’s so nice to have a record store half a block from my house! Though I have to say, my wallet has been happier while the shop has been closed the last few months…

\n

If you get a chance, check out Gigantic Records and absolutely catch a Freight Train Rabbit Killer show if you have the chance. They often play at The Ship, in fact, they are going to do another Halloween show with the Illustration students this year.

\n

Check out the video below:

\n\n","date_published":"2025-06-14T15:20:16-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/06/14/freight-train-rabbit-killer-at.html","tags":["art","America","music","whiskey","beauty"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/06/06/talking-heads-psycho-killer.html","title":"Talking Heads - Psycho Killer","content_html":"

Talking Heads recently released a video for “Psycho Killer” off of their debut album ‘77 to celebrate the 50th anniversary of their first live show at CBGB’s - opening for the Ramones (another favorite!)

\n\r\n

‘77 was one of the first albums (on cassette) that I purchased with my own money, at the mall. The other was Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ “I love Rock ’n Roll”.

\n

I remember my mom expressing some concern about an album with a song called “Psycho Killer.” I told her that they sing some of the song in French, it can’t be too bad! I have been a fan of Talking Heads and David Byrne for as long as I can remember being aware of music. I’m proud to be able to claim them as one of my first albums! His quirky lyrics and moves were, and are, a huge inspiration. I’ve seen David Byrne several times but sadly never saw Talking Heads. I keep hoping for some kind of reunion announcement with their anniversary, but it would probably be a very limited tour, possibly only one show and VERY expensive. It would be AMAZING to see them!

\n","date_published":"2025-06-06T15:25:04-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/06/06/talking-heads-psycho-killer.html","tags":["art","music","David Byrne","black and white","vintage","beauty"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/05/26/anniversary-glamping.html","title":"Anniversary Glamping 2025","content_html":"

For our 19th Anniversary, Maura and I drove to Humboldt, Kansas at the Base Camp camping/glamping area. Humboldt is a cute town, with more to do than I expected, but we are really here to relax and celebrate each other. This is a perfect spot to disconnect from daily life and reconnect with nature. The cabin is a charming, modern tiny house with everything we need. Unfortunately, it decided to rain the whole weekend, though honestly, we don’t mind - we can can hibernate with our books, a few games, and each other. The rain is really nice on the fishing pond in front of the cabin and on the two skylights. We will definitely be back, hopefully it won’t be raining next time and we can use the fire pit next to the cabin. They also have canoes and bikes that you can borrow for the pond and trails around the campground.

\n

Happy Anniversary, Maura Cluthe! I’m so glad we met twenty-one years ago and got married two years later. Life has been so much more fun since we met!

\n\"\"\n","date_published":"2025-05-26T11:04:42-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/05/26/anniversary-glamping.html","tags":["Maura","America","life","Happyness","Travel","beauty","Hiking","Glamping","Nature","Anniversary"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/05/24/lego-minifig-me.html","title":"Lego Minifig Me","content_html":"

Those of you know know me at all know that I love Lego. I have an ever growing collection of sets that I would have adored as a kid. Now that I’m a grown up kid, I can actually afford them!

\n

I was messing around with AI yesterday and got it to make a minifig version of me! It’s pretty close, without even using a source image.

\n\"\"\n","date_published":"2025-05-24T15:10:17-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/05/24/lego-minifig-me.html","tags":["toys","Childhood","Toys"]},{"id":"http://jakefowler.micro.blog/2025/05/08/what-do-i-want-to.html","title":"What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up?","content_html":"

I read this quote the other day and added to my ever-growing list of favorite quotes:

\n
\n

If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life but what I will call the artistic life, if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward.

\n
\n\n

I can relate to this so much. I remember when I was growing up, the thought of adulthood, independence, responsibility, all of it was so overwhelming. It is overwhelming sometimes, even at my age now but we learn to cope with it somehow. I chose Philosophy as a major in college because I had no idea what I wanted to do or who I even was. I still can’t say that I’ve figured it all out, even though i’ve been in my current job for almost twenty years. This qute flips the expectation of knowing on it’s head. It makes it okay and even desireable to not know. I’ve always thought of myself as constantly “becoming” me. I am constantly evolving; learning new things, skills, talents and dropping old ineffective ways of doing things. This is a good thing. I have always thought that life may as well be over once we stop growing and learning.

\n","date_published":"2025-05-08T09:58:42-05:00","url":"https://jakefowler.com/2025/05/08/what-do-i-want-to.html","tags":["life","Personal","change","Happyness","Childhood","epiphany","Philosophy","Existentialism"]}]}